I was not born Catholic. My journey to Catholicism was a progression. My parents were Presbyterian, and we attended church regularly. But it always felt that something was missing from the Protestant experience - something just did not feel right. Maybe the informality of it; lack of a feeling of celebration at the miracle of Christ. At any rate, inching my way closer to Catholicism, when I was about 11 years old, I prompted my family to attend and eventually convert to the Episcopal Church. The priest there had marched with Martin Luther King and the Episcopal ceremony had much more formality and ceremony than the Presbyterian one. It appealed to me – I became an altar boy and attended an Episcopal school for a time.
Finally getting past the whirlwind of the teenage years and out of college, I met my wife to be. Judy was Catholic and wanted to be married in a Catholic church. I agreed. During our pastoral counseling the priest consented to our marriage in the church but asked me to commit to raising the children Catholic. And so, when we moved to Maine from NH with our family and we began attending church at St. Matthew’s Church in Limerick. It was such a warm and welcoming experience that I converted to Catholicism and became very involved in the church, playing guitar at Masses and working as choir director for several years. It was a wonderful experience. The very first time I played guitar at a Mass there was an overwhelming feeling that this was where I belonged, this was what all that practicing music had been for – it was a perfect fit. 30 years later, it still is.
Even when I was very young, I felt a strong connection to Christ. He just kept drawing me closer. The Mass makes that connection come alive for me – Jesus literally present in the Eucharist. When I take the Host I sit and picture His light inside me, cleansing me and pouring love like light out of me all around. When I am blessed enough to provide music for the ceremony, it is as if I am in a band with Christ – what could be better? Christ’s love is always in the music.
The Mass is a celebration. We celebrate Christ’s life, death and resurrection and the grace and forgiveness that comes to us through Him. When we “lift up our hearts” we are literally bringing happiness and the feeling of victory over sin into our lives. Going to Mass with the proper attitude gives us a way to enter this wonderful experience. I try to go to Mass with this attitude – meeting Christ again as friend and savior and experiencing the eucharist as allowing the living Christ to enter and make me a better person; sharing this love and peace with those in attendance and elsewhere – the unconditional love of Jesus being poured into me and out into the world.